Do Work.

The kids here in Korea are put through some SHIT. Now usually I refrain from using curse words because I would like my father to think that his outrageously expensive investment in my education resulted in a greater understanding of the English lexicon but these kids are put through some shit. To put it as simply as possible they are subjected to a six day workweek of education from birth. A few to six times a year they are also subjected to tests. I mean strenuous tests like finals or midterms except a week of them minus the shortened days or lack of days resulting in a week of binge-drinking followed by twelve hour study marathons. So while these kids are put through this gauntlet of memorization at their normal schools us English teachers at their English academies are left with very little to do. Last week I taught five classes to a total of seven students and this week more of the same. While I was scheduled to teach two classes today I ended up teaching zero because four students showed up to school the entire day.

Korean parents NEVER let their kids stay home from school, NEVER let their kids stay home from science academy, NEVER let their kids stay home from math academy, and NEVER let their kids stay home from English Academy. So for these kids to be staying home, undoubtedly deprived of any entertainment, studying for these exams is proof enough that they are being put through some SHIT.

Korea v. Korea

On Sunday I attended the World Cup qualifying match between the Republic of Korea (South Korea) and the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (North Korea). Both teams had already qualified for the next match so the outcome of the game was insignificant. What was significant was the relationship between the two countries. Being that the two countries were placed in the same qualifying group each team was to have a home match. Now, I can personally attest to the fact that South Korea's home match went off without a hitch, while the same can not be said for the scheduled match in North Korea. The North Korean government refused to raise the South Korean flag and play the South's national anthem. FIFA, which runs the World Cup and it's qualifiers, has taken a harsh stance against politics affecting the game so it was moved to Shanghai. South Korea annually sends millions of dollars in aid to the North. Without aid from South Korea and China(ask me how I feel about China) North Korea would starve(see North Korean famine).

Anyway, to move past the politics. Seoul World Cup Stadium is amazing. Home to the 2002 World Cup's opening ceremony and opening match the stadium is massive and visually inspiring.

The Stadium

The game ended in a 0-0 draw and wasn't overly exciting but it had its moments. Afterward I went to Itawon and ate the best cheeseburger to date in Korea at a neat place called Gecko's. It is THE bar for ex-pats in Korea.

A View From the Stadium

Pita.

So my 6'7 Canadian friend David and I decided to head out to Itawon Saturday. Now Itawon is known for many things from having the largest concentration of foreigners in Korea, to great shopping (more fake designer digs than you even knew existed), to being a great place to party, and even a great place to get arrested. Now we didn't go there to party and we weren't sporting high and tights so we probably weren't going to get arrested so we basically walked around looking at the goods with the rest of the foreigners David standing out from the crowd due to his vertical prowess.

We were perfectly happy haggling the street vendors to cut an extra 5 bucks from the price of a fake Polo and being hassled by tailors to get fitted for a suit but then we saw the Pita. Well David saw the Pita and we decided as a team that our day would not be complete without having one for ourselves. So we continued on our way down the crowded streets, still haggling and being haggled, but with a greater purpose, the Pita.

It was sometime after in the eighty-eight degree heat I encountered a mountain of scarves and suggested to David that he should buy one. Whereupon a little Korean woman's face popped through the mountain of scarves screaming "Yea! You take a look!"

Whereupon I jumped skyward.

And before a vendor tried to convince me to follow him into a basement to look at fake Rolex watches (a fake Rolex made in China is 30 bucks and a fake Rolex made in Korea is 120, plus shipping, handling, and the cost of me partying in Itawoning if you're interested). That we found the Pita.

The Pita was on the second floor and as we climbed up the stairs we still weren't sure. The price was steep, six bucks, but we decided to splurge. The best six bucks I have ever spent. The Pita was huge, the Pita was stuffed with stuffings, the PITA!

I also bought four bootleg DVDs for ten bucks.

Flat.

Now that I'm getting settled in to this teaching thing it's become very lovely. My life is pretty simple over here almost like college except instead of spending my Dad's money I tend to make a little for myself. My work hours are exceptional for an new twenty-four year old. I stroll into work somewhere around 4pm and class starts at 5:35. Depending on what day of the week it is I have a couple 45 minute breaks or one hour long break. Class ends at 10:45, so usually I can be seen walking out the lobby doors somewhere around 11pm. I don't know why I just mentioned all this...I'm probably bragging or something.

I can proudly say that I have read two novels since I have been in Korea. Sideways by Rex Pickett and The Road by Cormac McCarthy. Both were excellent. Now if I were going to choose just one to include in my proverbial stranded on a desert island library it would be Sideways. It has the same quality of the movie that it spawned in that it is immensely entertaining and engrossing the first time and gives the reader (or viewer) the urge to have the experience again. Now I haven't yet made the leap into its pages a second time, but rest assured I will. The Road is a post-apocalyptic story of a man and his boy traveling through the wasteland. It's very good, short and gripping, but I dare not call it great as many have. Both I would recommend, I will not bore you anymore with details. Suffice it to say that I enjoyed the novels and that should be enough to send you to your local bookstore.

That's enough.

New Semester, New Names.

It's been a good week. First of all my birthday was on Wednesday and my Aunt put together a feast for me and a few of my co-workers. Aside from my phobia about having "happy birthday" sang to me in front of large audiences, which I had to endure twice, I thoroughly enjoyed the entire day. Being that it was my birthday and I like to party I also managed to see the sun come up the past two mornings and I have accepted that it is my nightly signal that I should head to bed. Usually getting off work at 11pm, then having a few at the table outside of our favorite corner store, and finally deciding to head to the bar, makes for a long night/morning. But fear not, this is not all I am up to.

The Lakers are headed to the NBA Finals and if you know me very well then you know how fantastic that makes me feel.

The new semester started this week. I have quickly realized how much easier it is to start a semester fresh then getting dumped into the throws of battle. I have some great students in my classes, "What" sits in the back of one of my classes and I spent a good five minutes during the first day simply exchanging "what?"s with him. Another one of my favorites is "Jga" which is the Korean word for "sleep." Rule #2 of my classroom, "NO sleeping," need I say more? "Zero,""One," and "Two" sit in the rear of my most basic class and oddly enough forgot their books on the first day. Did I mention that they receive their textbooks on the first day? I am asking you too many questions and for that I apologize, just trying to keep you motivated.

Sorak Mountain.

South Korea boasts a population of 50 million packed into an are slightly larger than Indiana. Apparently the entire population had the same idea as myself and a couple of friends for Buddha's birthday weekend. Aside from the bus ride that basically was the equivalent of driving from Eureka to Redding, or Madison to Chicago, or from Honolulu to Haleiwa, and having it take six hours, the trip was amazing.

We arrived late Saturday night and decided to go out and have some fun after being cooped up in that wretched bus. When in a foreign country it's always a good idea to ask your local taxi driver to take you to the girls, liquor, and fun. Or maybe not. Basically after the taxi driver took us to the lamest clubs I have ever witnessed and sat outside hoping to get a cut of the club selling us a ridiculously overpriced bottle of liquor we escaped to a karaoke bar where we were treated to "gin and tonics." We ended up singing "Help" in front of some drunk Koreans who loved us and after a round of high-fives and some Jim Beam I woke up more than ready to "hike the shit out of this damned mountain."

Giant Buddha at the base of the mountain.

It was about a six hour hike to the top of the trail that we chose. A few bottles of Soju and we were ready to roll. The hike was beautiful, the mountainside dotted with Buddhist temples and tent restaurants and shops that made me picture the effort that it took to lug it all up there.

A temple on the mountain. The rock above is the one that we eventually reached.
There were etchings in the rocks all the way to the top.
Yeahyer.
The top, Sokcho below and The Sea of Japan in the distance.
Unreal.

Rant.

This week was ridiculous. Two teachers decided it would be a good idea to go on vacation. So poor me, or poor we as I should say, had to cover these absentee's classes. So basically I had to work without a break this entire week. Actually it was only four days because we had Monday off. Well actually, it was only three days because on Friday's we never have breaks. Back to the matter at hand, one of my lower level classes loves me. Not the way parents love their children or a child loves their toys or even the way a fat kid loves cake. No, these kids love me like a lion loves an impala with weight issues. So in between attempting to distract these kids from attempting to drop their school supplies out of the 9th story window of my classroom and trying to remember if a particular student's name is "Sparta," "Marine," "Carlito," "Spam," or wait, what class is this anyway? That reminds me, these kids all have official Korean names that are on their birth certificate and the like but when it comes to their English names they can pretty much do whatever they like as the only people who call them by this name are their English teachers anyway. So basically I don't know anyone's name that isn't hilarious.

Diversion.

I finally get the window shut. I get Jinnie, or Janny, or Jane, or Janet, or Jambalaya to stop hitting Lydia, or Linda, or Lin Da, or Lim Dae Un (some of them don't have English names at all) in the back of the head and I get this feeling. It is the feeling one gets in battle when all of his comrades have perished and the defenses have been compromised. The feeling of eminent defeat. They began to grow and change forms, looming above as I shrunk into the hard tile floor, their voices grew with them and I was engulfed in a sea of chaos. I tried to find my happy place.

Then I had a moment. The kids continued to do their thing around me but now in slow motion. I am at peace staring out the windows. Past the metropolis, the Blade Runneresque cityscape, through the smog and into the green hills. I remember what my mom would yell to get my attention when I was a child. What really showed that it was serious time. I turned back to my class.

"YA! Jo yung ey!"

Translation: a sharp, loud "ya" in the tone of voice you would use to scare someone out of the hiccups followed by the Korean words for "be quiet."

The kids were startled and at attention. My chest puffed.

KOBE!